Stomach Size and Repro Lectures

After opening the abdomen and looking at the size of the stomach, I was surprised at the size of the stomach. I was even more surprised that I managed to eat two Qdoba burritos in one sitting. That thing's like a balloon.

You know how you just make food but it's too hot to eat, but you're really hungry, so you take a bite anyway? Then the food is burning your mouth and you sit there with your mouth open, eyes watering trying to cool it down by breathing. I do this way too often. Sometimes more than once during the same meal. I always feel stupid too because learning that hot things burn you is a skill you pick up when you're 2. I was somewhat relieved when Bill did the exact same thing later that day.
BONUS TIP: If the food's really hot, you can blow steam out of your mouth and pretend you're a dragon.

I always thought www.hotmail.com would be a great name for a gay porn site.

I used to be super tragic at spelling and somehow I got better at it when I was in high school. I think that happens when you turn 18. Anyway, there are still words I can't spell. Like common words. Like 'necessary'. Sometimes when I'm writing a note or something I'll have to change the sentence specifically so I don't have to write a word. Also, 'genius' and 'nauseous' are like the most impossible words ever. Something fun you might not know, 'facetious' has all 5 vowels in order. If you're gonna be that guy and say that 'y' is a vowel, just make it an adverb.

You know what I hate? Selfish computer windows. Windows that feel the need to pop to the front every time they do something. Thank you, AIM, I know you just signed in, that's what happens when I press the 'sign in' button. I don't need you to update me and show me you did it right. Stay in the back where you belong.

I was greatly saddened to realize that I no longer appreciate a lecture about vaginas. We had an hour long lecture where they showed pictures of vaginas and I fell asleep like 3 times. I am not too mature to make jokes though, that's just crazy talk. If I went back in time and told my 12-year old self about this, he'd be thrilled. I would have made a calendar counting down the days until this lecture. '4382 days to go!' (For those of you checking my math, there wasn't a leap year in 2000 because of the weird calendar rules.)